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You Want Me to Sign That?

I was attending ComiCONN at the Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut back in 2017 when I met Ron Perlman, one of Hollywood’s most famous tough guys. Hellboy himself was appearing in person. The line was long, and it was loaded with testosterone. After a long wait, it was finally my turn to approach him.

Ron seemed like a decent man. We exchanged pleasantries, and I immediately realized that my first impression of him was accurate. I handed him my item, and I asked him to autograph it. He looked down at it. He looked up at me. He looked at the person standing next to him behind the booth.

”You want me to sign that?”

I nodded.

Ron smirked, shaked his head and autographed my 5x7 photo of Gha Nachkt from Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I printed it myself, not expecting him to have any images of the character available for sale. I was correct. I was not embarrassed.

I had a less humiliating experience the previous year, when I met Ray Park at New England Super Megafest in Marlborough, Massachusetts. (Maybe I was just slightly embarrassed about my Ron Perlman encounter.) He was busy autographing Darth Maul items all day, when I approached him with an 8x10 photo of the Headless Horseman from Tim Burton’s film Sleepy Hollow. I printed the image myself.

”You want me to sign that?”

I nodded, just as I did one year later.

Ray was very happy to see the image, and he autographed it with enthusiasm. He even added a terrific inscription to the photo without my asking, as well as the character name and a smiley. WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?!

My Ray Park autographed Headless Horseman 8x10 photo. Ray was very pleased to autograph it when I met him.

Nine years ago, George Lucas was asked to autograph guitar pickguards on a New York City sidewalk. He was willing to do so, but he was obviously confused about what he was autographing.

”What is that, anyway?”

George seemed to be content when it was explained to him.

Obscure items are often added to autograph collections. I suppose that is part of what makes collecting autographs enjoyable.

6 members like this

Comment by Peter Lougheed on August 30, 2021 at 2:18pm: Great writeup, Mike.

I'm sure this item has confused some signers...

https://www.ebay.ca/itm/274924636849?hash=item4002c90ab1:g:JaAAAOSw...

Comment by Martin Peters on August 30, 2021 at 5:38pm: When Kirby Puckett held his annual fund-raising pool tournament he would have a meet and greet for a small number of fans. I took my son to one of these and we brought along a color cut-out of Kirby's head (originally part of a ballpark promotional hand-out KIRBY FAN fan). When we placed the face before Kirby he loudly exclaimed "YOU WANT ME TO SIGN MY FACE??!?!" and laughed the entire time he was signing it.

Comment by Mike Shepherd on August 30, 2021 at 5:51pm: Thanks, Peter. I am glad that you liked it.

Comment by Mike Shepherd on August 30, 2021 at 5:54pm: That is a great story, Martin. Thanks for sharing. I miss Kirby. He was a class act.

Comment by Josh Board on September 1, 2021 at 11:19pm: I dunno. I don't like weird items being signed, unless there's a great reason. I'll give two examples. I was going to interview Dennis Hopper for a photo exhibit he was doing in San Diego. I brought this crazy gas mask thing I got from a nurse I was dating, as he used one of those while raping Isabella Rosellini in Blue Velvet. Security WOULD NOT let me in, after asking what it was, and why I was bringing it in. Not sure why I didn't just say I had a medical condition, instead of telling them the truth. But...another time, when AUTOGRAPH MAGAZINE was in newstands, this person wrote a brilliant story. He worked at a catering company during college, and...was always told NOT to ask for autographs (they were in L.A and did a lot of parties with famous people). Once he asked a star, but all there was, where white, plastic knives, so they signed that. He then decided...he'd get plastic knives signed. He'd send them to celebs and tell them why. They'd write inscriptions and sign them. Woody Allen sent him back a letter from a lawyer, saying that sending a knife is considered a threat, and if they hear from him again, they will seek legal action (and a letter like that, in my opinion, is a nice addition to his collection!)

Comment by Eric Keith Longo on September 2, 2021 at 1:31am: I once presented a prescription pad to De Kelley to sign but he was way too drunk.

Comment by Mike Shepherd on September 3, 2021 at 9:38pm: Josh, a gas mask and white plastic knives are undoubtedly two of the most obscure items that I have ever heard of autograph collectors asking to have signed. Thanks for sharing your story, and thanks for the comment. Take care.

Comment by Mike Shepherd on September 3, 2021 at 9:42pm: Very interesting, Eric. That would have made for a great story, and still does. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the comment. Take care as well.