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Ebay Listing Trends That Make Me Nauseous

Anyone ever have any pet peeves about the way sellers list items on Ebay? Whether they're red flags for forgeries or just all around annoying quirks, here are the things I can't stand to see in any Ebay auction:

1) "Guaranteed to pass PSA/JSA or any third party authentication."

I don't even know where to begin on this one. From a personal standpoint, I don't have a particularly high amount of respect for any for the TPA's, so that assertion is inherently worthless to me. The other problem is that it's just an empty comment due to it's over use. Plenty of forgeries include this note, as though they're daring the buyer to even try to get it authenticated.

The other end of the spectrum isn't much better . . .

2) "PSA/DNA will say our items are forgeries because they're rotten, corrupt, incompetent, etc etc . . ."

Oh boy. This one's even better. Admitting that your items will fail TPA. Next . . .

3) Longwinded stories about how you obtained in person the most clearly forged item on the planet.

A paragraph about how you and your dad met Zeppelin years ago ago does magically make your terrible forgery look more legit. It just makes you look like a lying criminal.

4) A whole page dedicated to the celebrity's biography.

Seriously? We clicked on this random autograph, having no idea who it is? And now this seven paragraph bio is going to sell me on buying it? I've seen this bizarre antic for years on Ebay and even seller websites (even legitimate, honest sellers), and I absolutely don't get it. Waste of space at best.

5) Proof photos that prove nothing.

Some proof photos are thorough, clear, conclusive and fantastic evidence to support the autographed item's claim to authenticity. Most are not. The photos of Bruce signing in 1999 aren't going to convince me to buy your signed copy of Wrecking Ball.

6) Comes with an unnamed COA.

Ooooh. Maaagic.

7) Comes with a COA from a company no one has ever heard of.

Filled out entirely by hand in a ball point pen no less.

8) "Rare!"

Contrary to popular belief, your Pete Rose signed baseball is not rare.

9) "Exact proof photos are shown . . . but you can't have them, no matter how much cash you drop on this thing."

This one really gets me. If it's that EXACT photo getting signed, and I'm maying an arm and a leg for the luxury of this exact proof . . . then, yeah, I want the damned proof photo, too. That's what screen shots are for, I guess.

10) "I've been collecting for 20, 30, 40 years . . ."

Wow. Really? I haven't been collecting nearly that long, and I don't have a fraction of the forgeries you do.

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Comment by Herman S Crawford Jr on March 17, 2013 at 6:05am: I concur with everything you said. Almsost all autographs are fake. Ebay seems to be on the side of the buyer these days. They took my money for a car I sold but never got paid for and just said, "Sorry". I couldn't even leave negative feedback since I was the seller. I hate certain things about ebay but continue to use them anyway so there's no one to blame but ME.

Comment by terrier8HOF on March 17, 2013 at 6:14am: I dont understand why you couldn't leave negative feedback as a seller. both parties have the opportunity to leave feedback once the listing is over.

Comment by John Strickland on March 17, 2013 at 7:02am: I had the similar scenario happen to me after I shipped an item to Canada that got destroyed by the shipping company the buyer blamed it on me and left negative feedback before we could fix the problem, I then tried leaving him negative feedback and Ebay did not have it as an option on my end, they were totally on the buyers side and I ended refunding the money and got back a destroyed item !

Comment by Steve Zarelli on March 17, 2013 at 9:15am: LOL Great list. So true.

Comment by Steve Zarelli on March 17, 2013 at 9:18am: 4) A whole page dedicated to the celebrity's biography.

Seriously? We clicked on this random autograph, having no idea who it is? And now this seven paragraph bio is going to sell me on buying it? I've seen this bizarre antic for years on Ebay and even seller websites (even legitimate, honest sellers), and I absolutely don't get it. Waste of space at best.

In my opinion, this practice is almost a sign of a forgery in and of itself. Rarely do I see an authentic autograph on eBay with a long bio copied and pasted from Wikipedia.

It's as if they are trying to build credibility and bury you with words to distract you from the rancid autograph itself.

Comment by Steve Zarelli on March 17, 2013 at 9:20am: 5) Proof photos that prove nothing.

Some proof photos are thorough, clear, conclusive and fantastic evidence to support the autographed item's claim to authenticity. Most are not. The photos of Bruce signing in 1999 aren't going to convince me to buy your signed copy of Wrecking Ball.

You mean a "proof" photo that shows Neil Armstrong standing on a golf course with a golf club in his hand isn't undeniable proof that this photo was signed by him?!?!?

LOL

Comment by Ian Baldock on March 17, 2013 at 9:34am: I dont blame them for showing a bio to try to push the sale, but the one that drives me F###in nuts is why dont they include the exact proof photos. And if they do, now they want to charge you. You can still get some good stuff on ebay but Im not a big fan of it any more.

Comment by Carl Ryan on March 17, 2013 at 2:27pm: amen

Comment by Null on March 17, 2013 at 7:36pm: Lmao the BIO is so annoying. Don't forget the generic "comes with COA" and they don't list/show the COA.

The "guaranteed to pass JSA/PSA" doesn't bother me. Usually shows they have SOME clue about decent authentication.

Comment by Rich on March 18, 2013 at 10:55am: I have to add one to the list that many of us have seen first hand:

"I know nothing at all about autographs, but I got this from some hillbilly's "estate" sale and in the midst of my complete non-research believe it to be authentic. No guarantees. No refunds. Happy bidding . . . suckers."